Reply

Java Code That Explains the 'No Java 6 on Leopard' Reaction

At 5:01 AM on Oct 27, 2007, Mikael Grev wrote:

if (getUser().getHumor() < UniversalConstants.HAS_HUMOR)
	System.exit(0);
 
this.setSeriousness(UniversalConstants.HUMOR_WITH_SERIOUS_UNDERTONE);
 
while (Apple.getLeopard().getJava().getVersion() < 6) {
 
	if (Apple.getJobOffering().filter("Mikael Grev").size() > 0) {
		this.removeAll();
		MikaelGrev.getPride().swollow();
		MikaelGrev.getOutput().pipeTo("null");
		throw new ShutUpException();
	}
 
	Logger.getLogger("Opinion").log(Level.SEVERE, "Nag, Bitch, Whine");
 
	new InitialDeveloperContext().getDevelopers("Java").increaseAnnoyanceLevel();
 
	MikaelGrev.getSmiley().decreaseHappyness();
 
	Integer days = Apple.getAnnouncements().filter("java6").getDaysLeft();
	if (days == null) {
		Apple.setArrogance(Apple.getArrogance() + 1);
	} else {
		MikaelGrev.getSmiley().setAnticipation("Moderate");
		try {
			Thread.sleep(days * 24 * 60 * 60 * 1000);
		} catch (InterruptedException e) {
			Logger.getLogger("Opinion").log(Level.INFO, "Apple early? Hardly...");
		}
	}
 
	if (new Date().getYear() > 2007) {
		MikaelGrev.getSmiley().setAnnoyance("Severe");
		Apple.setArrogance(Long.MAX_VALUE);
		Collection macs = Environment.filter("MAC").removeAll();
		Environment.getBackingStorage().store("MACS", macs);
 
		Environment.addJava6OnMacListener(new ActionListener() {
			public void actionPerformed(ActionEvent e) {
				Collection macs = Environment.getBackingStorage().load("MACS");
				Environment.insert(macs);
				MikaelGrev.getSmiley().setAnnoyance("Moderate");
				MikaelGrev.getSmiley().setHappyness("Happy");
				Apple.setArrogance(UniversalConstants.SLIGTLY_ABOVE_NORMAL_AND_CERTAINLY_ABOVE_GOOGLE);
			}
		});
 
		throw new UseLinuxException("Uncertain future, changing platform.");
	}
 
	try {
		Thread.sleep(1);
	} catch (InterruptedException e) {}
}
Logger.getLogger("Opinion").log(Level.INFO, "It's about time!");